D day tomorrow

hi all, nice to catch up again, sorry to leave you hanging so long. Tomorrow is a key day for me....i find out what is going on in my knee and what can be done about it. I had an MRI a while back which shows that there is still a tear in the meniscus.....very frustrating as this means another op for sure, i just need to establish how bad the damage is and what it means for the future. I have been watching the charge site and talking with nick and neil at HQ and i have to say i am really looking forward to getting me leg over the 29 er, if all goes well with my op then i really think this bike will be the way forward for me in the longer endurance events, of course being a snob, i would like a ti one !   I also like the whole hill chaser format, i think it has the potential to grow into quite a series as it brings racing up close and personal and really involves the crowds, i did say to nick it would suit me better if we ran one up alp d huez, but it might take a while in eliminator form !   so what am i up to at the mo ?.......well work has taken over for the time being as due to all the cuts and changes i have been moved to another fire station which is further away from home.....its now an hour and a half each way !   and fuel is not getting any cheaper.....look at me sounding all old and wise ! so it is having a bit of a an impact on us at the mo. I am riding twice a week as well, just for an hour at a time as thats all my knee will allow, but it is helping to keep me sane !   and for the first time in years....i have hairy legs !  I have managed to keep my weight roughly the same....ok a couple of pounds heavier but a month of solid training will see that right. So what are my hopes........well i hope the knee op goes well and heals quickly, i also hope that the knee is the reason my back is sore so it should help address that too, and then back to racing as soon as my knee will allow, winning may have to wait another few months and the journey will be complete when i can race a 24 hour competitively again. Back in the real world....gotta walk the dog in a bit, then in to town to get a birthday card....and a coffee, and maybe un wrap some of the new bathroom bits....i am good at removing the old shower and sink and tiles and stuff...didnt enjoy removing the 20 year old toilet ! but putting all the new stuff back ......well that may be somewhat slower. perfection takes time, and in my case it also takes paying someone who knows what they are doing. anyway, the sun is coming so get out riding, i will just watch for a bit, but i will be out soon.

gearing up for the drinking season

racing season is done....time to concentrate on a good performance in the food and drink season now. I say the race season is done....for me it did not really get going all that well, a brief couple of wins in september and thats all she wrote. I was really hoping to build on that with a solid winter racing and training and really capitalise during the summer.....the old saying goes  "trophies are won in winter and collected in summer" so where does that leave me at the mo ?   well it goes like this...ever since my knee op in april i have been trying to train around the pain i still have, as the year has gone on i have developed some pretty bad lower back pain as a result of compensating all the time, this culminated in something going pop at work a while back and another trip to the doctors, he has refered me back to another surgeon for a consult to see if we can pin down whats going on....as i sit here at the mo, my back is really stiff on one side and my knee is painful to the touch on the medial side, i swam last night...which showed how unfit i am, and has also aggravated my knee from the kicking motion. Its fair to say i am at my wits end. I have spoken to nick and he is all cool with me being out of action...but for me, this is costing a fortune and really getting me down, its painful enough that its an issue in everyday life now and has prompted me to even question if i should bother returning to racing....i dont want to be a crippled 45 year old. Life has its distractions though....we have a new baby dog, her name is Rez and she is Kula's half sister...toilet training is going ok but she is a little monster !  and insists on waking us up at three or four on a lot of mornings !  infact she is screaming now ! as soon as she shuts up i better go and fix dinner for her, i will get back on the blog in the next few days......hope fully less fed up !  speak soon

falling leaves

it was the first ride in ages where the air was definately chilly the other morning, leg warmers were needed, although it is an exciting time of year, even if the rain and cold are coming. Its the start of next year really that makes me excited, I would like to race a bit through the winter and build a good base for next season, I am not sure what the targets will be....but whatever i choose i will need to be fit, I am currently sat here snivelling with a cold and am thinking about the prospect of being away for two weeks for work with no chance to train, bit of a pain but never mind. I am also working on my back still....it is ongoing, but this is because of the imbalance after my knee op, still i have the whole winter to get it sorted and i can ride ok, I am off to nurse the cold.....sorry life threatning man flu, assuming i make it through the next 24 hrs i should be better soon, also looking forward to my first sports massage in years tomorrow......somone said i wont get extras though, what is the massage world coming to ?   

I is a winner !

The last two weeks have been good to me, i had a great time at the cobble wobble and was really impressed at the crowds and the atmosphere of the event, there were so many people at one point that you could hardly move on the hill !    i rocked up on my charge skewer with an all dry set up.....25mm slick tyres and no other changes really, I watched a few early riders to get a feel for the crucial turn and the level of grip i might have, I was feeling confident of a podium ride....even though this was a bit short for me !  as we drew ever nearer to the king of cobles, it poured down !    its fair to say i was less than looking forward to slipping and sliding my way up the hill !   still in for a penny and all....i took the line at 7:02 and gave it my best shot, which as it turned out was not good enough !   i think i was just in the top ten.....i will check the results to see, the hill was fine, not too slippery on the tyres so no excuses......just not strong enough !    chris akrigg however was plenty strong enough, with an awsome time he blitzed it......turns out the bike of choice this year was the 4x with enourmous handle bars and slicks....great ride dude.

 warm up those legs my boy !   half hour before the off on the cobbles.

so moving on, after a tough week at work and a particularly busy last night with no sleep at all ! i started gettin my mind set for the XT festival 4 hr enduro......bit different to a 25 second blast up a hill !   during the week i had tweaked my hamstring a bit so was typically paranoid before the race, dani the dog and i rolled up on a bloody freezing morning ready for action.....i got changed crammed in the car as it was freezing and i didnt want anyone to see my little cold willy... got the food and bottle strategy sorted with dani and went off to warm up, i rolled on to the start line where for some reason no one wanted to be on the front row, so i moved in and took my spot. the start was on and i got a flyer, for the first half a mile the martials quad bike was too slow and i kept catching it up, he got the message and moved over and i took off, untill the first uphill hairpin where i fell on my arse, i lost the front on a root cos i was not paying attention, this allowed the guy in second to get back to me, and the susequently leave me behind on the next climb...how unsporting !  as i got my shit back together i settled in for the duration and found a rhythmn, same gear every place every lap, i never left the big chainring...although the climbs were stinging a bit in the last half hour ! i eased up on the last couple of laps so i could roll over the line bang on 4 hrs..........winner by 16 mins !   only headed by the winning male pairs, the form is slowly returning.

the next few weekends are taken up with real life stuff so there will be not much riding going on, i also have a two week course for work that requires a lot of home work and i will be in a hotel for all of the two weeks...so no riding then !    the hotel does have a pool though, swim on, although i think excercise will be the last thing on my mind as the course invloves me sitting in what are effectively giant woodburners for two weeks.....i will be wasted and pretty de hydrated every day......maybe the hotel has a spa....i could get some "me time" instead !    nails, legs and maybe a seaweed wrap, i was thinking of changing my hair colour too, what an opportunity. look forward to the new me......

september....already !

wow...where did the time go ?  right then, up to speed....swine fever...sorry lymes disease seems to be well gone, it did cling on for a bit though, and the antibiotics wrecked my stomach, but i seem to be on the right track. Dani and i have been down in my top secret training venue in the pyrenees a little while back, i had 10 solid days of mountain riding, building nicely as the week went on....proper long climbs, good cafes and quiet roads, a priveledged few know of this location and for a price i can put you in touch with the right place to stay ! anyway, this training has done wonders for my form and confidence, so much so i went up to the emergency services national mtb champs last week, and came away as the national champ....jersey and all ! i will pop up a pic or two when i get my hands on them, it was muddy but very fast and i had to work for it, still it is part of the job description that a Firefighter must be fit.....this race also had the police, ambulance and prison service riding.....in fact there were tons of coppers !  the event has been running fifteen years i gather so it was good to bring the title to Avon fire and rescue service and charge bikes.

so whats up next ?    well i am gonna ride the cobble wobble !  it is pretty far removed from what i normally do. but that is no excuse, so i will be there, i expect the downhill and bmx riders to show well with the explosive effort those events need as the climb is about 25 seconds long !  its about 5hours and 59 and a half minutes too short for me......but bring it on.  I am mostly excited about this event though because in 22 years of racing i have never done anything like it !  and i find that really motivating that i can be a part of it, a massive well done to all involved i getting this event up and running....its what cycling needs. So i will write up how the race went in the next few days.....including whether or not my choice of bike was right......and indeed my strategy !   i will also let ya know how the TV interview went....i have to be there at two o clock to share the pearls of my wisdom....that wont take long. the race is at 7pm so think of me while you are sat down in a comfy chair watching telly, i will be breathing out of places i never thoght possible !  

I know my original plan was the nat mtb marathon champs......for various reasons that didnt happen, but i am nothing if not flexible ( good lonely hearts comment)  so with the nat emergency champs already in the bag....do we dare to dream of becoming the king of the cobbles ?    followed by the xt festival 4hr the week after !    stay tuned for the next thrilling installment !

its all going pete tong...

Well, road race is done...just, i have been feeling a bit rough for the last week and a half but have not really thought about it that much, untill i could not even hang on at the front end of 2/3 cat hilly road race, this for me is somewhat disturbing, as the neutral start rolled out i felt "this is a bit fast" but put it down to early race keenies pushing the pace for early glory, i sat in knowing that the first decent sized climb of burrington coomb was coming, as we swung on to the climb i pulled out and rode to the front of the bunch and started to increase the pace, the aim ....to force a selection for later on. this worked a treat but unfortunately i forced myself out of the selection and made good progress to the rear of the bunch, i hung on over the top but found i just had no power or ability to push myself at all, this pattern continued on each climb and i would yo yo off the back and get back on over the top, towards the end of the race everyone else began to tire as my body just maintained the same pace....by the end i was in the second group but all i could do was just cruise, and on the final climb i just rode my own pace and was somewhere in the top 20 at the end. Ok its not a bad result and as i watched the straglers ride in over 5 mins later i thought it could be worse !  so rewind about five weeks to me in the garden pulling a tick off my right thigh, a small rash after but no big deal, some weeks later and i still seem to have a bit of an upset stomach, last shift at work i was sweating and felt really bad on night duty...put it down to a bug, felt about the same for the road race so i went to the doc as it had been going on a while, explained my symptoms and the doc casually asked if i had been bitten by a tick......right up untill that moment i had completely overlooked this, the doc has now put me on 1 1/2 grammes of ammoxycillen a day for two weeks to treat Lymes disease !  talk about a blind side ! i never thought it was anything other than a bug i had picked up, that would explain why i have felt so rough for a while now and why the race was poor and why i was sweating and suffering so much at work on monday....needless to say i am off at the moment !  soooooo...if you ride off road, check ya self for ticks, and if you get a rash, go to the doctor straight away. So where does this leave me ?   well i still want to ride the national marathon champs in september so will be on the natural yogurt to look after my stomach as best as i can, and when i can ride again i will have to go steady for a bit but i think its still on, in the meantime i will use the time to get my bikes and kit all sorted so i have no worries when i get going again and try and find some more events, we are due to be away in the pyrenees training in late august so i am hoping to be healthy again by then to maximize my time in the mountains, this year just is not panning out as i had hoped, but i will not crack......i shall return, but before that, i have more sweating and feeling weak to do, bring it on

quick catch up

i think last time we spoke i had just got the first step of the recovery plan underway at set 2 rise, so whats been on since then ?    well my training has been slow to build as i am being very careful with my knee but it is building, i did my first three hour ride yesterday....was pretty tired at the end but well pleased, and last weekend i rode the "are you tough enough" enduro in the mixed pairs with dani. i rode the first two laps of the six hour event and was well pleased to lead the whole feild through till the changeover, there were a couple of handy lads there so my pace is ok.....for two laps anyway !   dani then went out but the downside was because i had ridden hard, this dropped here in at the front where everyone is a bit serious !  so she had a pretty testing lap of repeated calls of " on ya right" or "on ya left"  she said the really quick guys were very polite, but as the lower places got nearer they seemed to ruder!  i will just say that i have never found that swearing at people makes me faster!. on the next changeover i put in another two laps which put us back in the lead again!  although it was very hard to pass people due to the amount of singletrack.....but on this occasion the course was so good that i just did not care !  the real pisser is still people wearing bloody mp3 players !   they just dont hear you coming, this is a bit dangerous in a race.....this has gotta be looked at i think as crashes will happen. Still we plugged on and we stuck with me on two laps and dani doing singles.....it worked out that dani would do the last lap and bring team charging humps home, i think she had her best lap at the end proclaiming she actually started to ride more relaxed in the technical sections...proved by her last lap being her quickest ! So whats up next?  well i am gonna do a road race in a week or so's time, its a hilly one ! so i will either go well and be up the front...or my lack of form will really show ! i will let ya know !  i had some time off last week so we went down to saunton to catch the low pressure that came in for a few days.....surf was messy but good to be in, so well worth the drive, we stayed in our tent, cooked up on a barbie and started each morning with fresh coffee....a great trip, the dog absoloutely loves the beach, althogh the seagulls do frustrate her as they take off too early for her to get near ! its histerical watching try sneaking up......then she trys sprinting, then she trys to pretend she aint seen em and does a last second sprint, no end of chuckles. So back to work tomorrow, i will try and get some sort of update on my leave request for the national marathon champs in september.......otherwise thats out the window....i will get my beady eye open to see if i can find some other events, the next two weeks will be work.....tour de france veiwing and hopefully at least two more 3 hour rides before this road race.......when i get my computer back working i will get some more pics up for ya.....till then ....enjoy the tour

set 2 rise is done

well a couple of blogs ago i laid down my plan of how i was going to rebuild my fitness, and set 2 rise was one of the first steps on that list. so how did it go ?   not too bad as it happens, the week before the race i had a bit of a scare with my knee, it seemed to think i was building up to quick and so began to hurt and swell again.....so i rested and saw the surgeon on the thursday before, he said" let the pain be your guide"......i thought that sounded a bit like a yoda from star wars quote, so after mystic meg the surgeon had imparted his wisdom i decided i would do the race as part of the B team. I arrived to see the lads from CSG and charge all setting up the vans and tents, the main topic....apart from abusing each other was the weather.....every 30 mins or so it rained.....hard. I of course had my bike all set for the dry, and after john and abi had done a lap to check it out i decided to leave it as it was. I was due off on the second lap....mostly as 20 mins before the start two of our team were still not even at the race !  so Nick was off on lap one.......to my shock as the group rounded the first corner nick was at the front !  for about 50 yards untill john went past....still a fair effort i thought, it the pissed down, i went to my car and got ready for my lap, keeping an eye out for john....he arrived in second cursing and swearing at his dry tyres, this was my cue to change to wets in the time before nick appeared, with the help of the lads my bike was sorted with seconds to spare and out i went.....at the first corner i was sooooo glad of wet tyres as i slithered around, this was the first time in months i had been on a mountain bike and conditions were bad....polished tree routes with a slimey layer over hard baked dirt...proper slipery, towards the end of the lap i passed chipps (A team guest rider) he was traveling at some speed but at 90 degrees to the course !  impresive stuff as he arrived back in the pits with no signs of crashing! much relief then ensued as the rest of our team were in, after a quick chat we altered to two laps each through the night, this let us all get a bit of kip between efforts, i was back out at 10:45 ish...i wacked out two 43 min laps and had an absoloute blast...because i hardly ever ride at night i loved it, your world becomes so small at night....there is nothing outside your beam of light...really intense, awsome. the atmosphere was great around the paddock and having the drop off cafe there all night was brilliant,proper food, all hours, we also had a lush coffee van there.....very civilized. as with all the previous years the SPAM organisation team were brilliant and had once again made a great course...entertaining and challenging enough to keep it enjoyable...so how did it all go ?   charge mixed team won the class !   charge B team were 13th i think...again not bad as when i woke up i decided that i would not go out again as my knee was a bit sore, i kept a keen eye on the solo's...15 laps for the winner was pretty impressive given the conditions, that ran him at 47 min average...take into account thats including eating, drinking and battery changes, like i say pretty good. its a great event and i hope it continues to grow as the years go by......so for me it was back to work on monday morning....still with red mud filled eyes, its now wednesday and i have just got in from a short road ride...felt ok ish, but i am still not confident enough to go up to two hours yet...i hope i will get there soon, when i put this computer down i will be eating a peice of my chocolate birthday cake with coffee......then i am off to work tonight...thats never right is it, working nights on your birthday.....

trouble in paradise

well then.....my return to training has been pretty good really, i am up to an hour and a half on the road with no pain and i have dropped a bit of the weight i wanted to get rid of, but i have hit a snag, i have done no riding for the last three days because my knee is hurting again, not the same pain as before the op....this feels more ligament ish....if thats a word !   the swelling is still hanging around and its making my knee feel weird, as i type this i am also looking out the number for the physio so i can ask if i can do anything more to help myself, i will probably told to rest !    like thats what i want to hear !   sooooo its back down the swimming pool for me then, i have to try and keep some fitness at least....its looking like a season of cyclo cross might be on the cards....should be working all fine by then !   plus it means i can really get to grips with the new charge freezer, in all the years i have been racing i have never done a cross race !     this could be a nice little learning curve for me....watch this space.

otherwise all is good in the world, obviously i am waiting for my lottery win so i can give up work, i have spent many a productive hour spending my imaginary winnings....i am so convinced it will happen i was thinking of putting a deposit on a new vw van.....maybe i should wait....especially as we are about to embark on a new bathroom !   which we will be paying for for the next two years no doubt ! 

i am popping up to see nick in a day or so, gonna pick up me new crank bros wheels, they are tubless ready......no more fannying about with stans rim strips and tape, and we should be all on SRAM XX pretty soon too,  i will never tire of just how nice my team bike is....incidentally, i am still running all the kit from costa rica on my training bike....its my little experiment to see how durable SRAM stuff is.....happy to report that all is good...even my orange rust chain is still sweet....but i am using motorbike chain wax on it !  oh and there are no teeth on the bottom jockey wheel of the mech but it works perfectly.

i am off to cry my eyes out on the phone to the physio now.........get ready for an oscar winning performance !

phase one is underway....

 
riding has begun.....I say riding as i cant really put much effort in at the moment, its more about mobility at this stage but its a step forward, i cant tell you how happy i am to be doing something now, my aim is to be pushing on the pedals and working up a sweat in a week or so......that will be a different picture i suspect, one of a red faced very unfit boy....small beginings !.

I preperation for some good turbo training i have been making playlists on i tunes, got some great stuff going on.....totally random mixes   stuff from gimme shelter by the rolling stones up to plan b always stay too long with a bit of the flower duet  by all angels in the middle !  never thought i would be so keen to get on the torture device that is the turbo, one device i am also keen to get on is my new motorbike, i bought a honda vfr....absolute classic bike i had one years back when it was the 750 version, i always wanted one of the 800 fuel injected ones with the gear driven cam engine.....they are vtec now and just not the same, from an engineering point of view they are just awsome, i reckon i can ride as quick on this as i could on all my other race rep bikes....but in comfort, i am getting old. So where to now ?    well i am hoping to get in the gym soon so i can start to isolate the quad muscles on the left leg and start to get the strength in that leg back up to equal the right one, physio reckons another week though on that...and the same for swimming to make sure the scars are totally closed, so i will have to wait a bit longer till i can swim and watch all the yummy mummys in the gym...yoga does indeed make you flexible. On the work front, I am to  be re evaluated by the doc next week to see what i can do.....will be good to get back into the swing of things, its just like cycling for me...i need to keep training to stay sharp so a bit of time out makes me twitchy, i am just glad to have a job i enjoy, and that makes me want to be good at it. so i am off, i will update again soon....in the meantime i will give you all a little treat.....enjoy the paper pants of joy......
Oh by the way......i cant work out how to reply to the comments i get.....but yes scott i will help you with your bike.......and allo Gary, it is me from southwick 20 odd years ago only fatter and older,  do you remember when we were 14 and tried to attempt the south downs way in winter....great days !      just look at us now......not too hard though, they are paper pants after all............

why is it so sunny, i cant go out.

 
progress report..........bored......of top gear, of homes under the hammer, of to buy or not to buy and of this bloody volcano cloud.......i also cant wait for the election to be over......am fed up with watching these boneheads trying to score points off each other with all the "what we can do for you " speeches, still i guess its one of those jobs where you will never please everyone !   on the knee front, i was sort of hoping to be better than i am, maybe i did a bit much too soon, only acheivments of note so far are being able to walk up the stairs unaided and put normal body weight on it when walking .

On thursday i have my follow up visit with the consultant, he will remove the dressings and i hope he will say i can start to gently turbo train and swim, i also hope he will agree that i cant go back to work just yet, i would not fancy crawling round on my hands and knees in a fire for a bit......might set me back, then i will be off work even longer while it fixes !   after all....thats what pays the bills !   i must be a bit better though as i am starting to think about when i will get the new stuff for my bikes so i can get em ready for the season.......a few days ago i wasnt bothered, but now i feel a bit twitchy about it.......gotta be a good sign,

so i will continue my treatment for now....more ice and compression...what i do is fill this device with ice and water, then pump it up to compress.....neat eh ?   

as soon as i can start to ride i am hoping improvement will start to speed up a bit, nick dropped me an email to say i am on one of the charge teams for set 2 rise....thats the end of may....fingers crossed that all is good by then.........i am now off to amuse myself by counting how much grass i have on my lawn, that should keep me busy till this afternoon, after that i will see how many bricks it took to build my house......busy busy

home......bored already

well the op is done, as far as i remember the surgeon said it all went well, but he did come to see me before i was fully switched on !   i got to the hospital at 7:30 ...went through blood tests, mrsa swobs, pee in the papier mache hockey stick end and get the marker pen out on the correct leg,
oh yeah...i also got some rad paper pants...dani did take a picture but i will spare you the shock ! the nurse wheeled me out at 10:30 and i was back just after 12, apparently i was chatting away....i dont remember any of this, and dani said i spent the next few hours in and out of conciuosness..... what i do remember is trying to come home, on the first attempt to get me out of bed and walk i made it two steps, went very green and nearly passed out......they decided to leave me for a bit, the second attempt i got to the corridor, turned right passed the reception, went green nearly passed out and was collected in a wheelchair......they decided to leave me for a bit......on attempt three i made it !  totally pissed off that i was still in hospital i refused crutches and walked down and back up the stairs to prove i was fine, got to the car , felt very green but managed to get home without being sick. Since then i have been doing  my excercises and icing 5 times a day, my knee is really swollen and is today starting to really hurt a bit, i am trying to stay well dosed up but sleeping is difficult so i am pretty tired, i can do all the excercises but the bending the leg one just feels all wrong at the moment....when i do it i am just imagining all the bits inside scraping and tearing and moving....i am sure its fine but it makes me feel weird!  so if i can start training at the start of may i have 16 weeks to get up to speed for the nat marathon champs.....i will be straight up....i feel it might be a tall order, but i will try, i will leave you with the thought that i will be transfixed by homes under the hammer followed by to buy or not to buy then a bit of bargain hunt and some doctors, i might even watch some top gear re runs on dave.....i cant wait to get out already.......its only been two days   still 12 stone and soft around the middle.....but waitrose swiss rolls are good !  
  

nighty night

it was the night before surgery and not a creature did stir......so last minute thoughts...hoping for a quick recovery, cant wait to see the nurses face when they see i already have shaved legs ! so they cant shave my knee, mortified i cant eat anything from now !  and nil by mouth after 5 tomorrow morning, so the plan is to try and get as many pics as i can.....i would really like one of the bit where they draw an arrow on my knee to make sure they cut open the right one ! and i have instructed dani to try and get a snap as soon as i wake up....reckon i might develop mild tourettes during that phase !   so i am off to bed now,  need some sleep as i spent last night putting out rubbish fires that some scallys had lit, all in a nights work for fireman sam,   speak soon.....from my resting bed !       oooooohhhhh  nurse !

the journey begins !

What journey ? i hear you cry, well the day after tomorrow i will be on the operating table.......no... not for a sex change, to get my knee repaired, so my idea is to chart the road from table to ......wait for it......top 10 in the national elite marathon champs on september the 12th later this year.......it may go well and it may not. my aim is to try and update you all every few days, so i will at least improve my typing by sept 12th !  every journey starts with a single step.....well my knee hurts so mine starts with a single shuffle, i will try and get pics from the hospital, and other key moments ! and through the wonders of my wifes computer ability get em on screen for you all to see, so then .....some base settings..

• nearly 12 stone !
• soft around the middle
• not ridden since january
• still eating like i am training hard !
• right knee and back hurts from constant compensating for sore left knee
• left quad muscle starting to shrink
• nervous about operation being a success
• pretty low motivation at the moment

well its a start !

i am sort of excited by the challenge i have chosen, i am also gonna try and convert one of my mtn bikes into a rad drop bar bike......i hope to be on it at the set 2 rise with the charge team....just to do the odd lap now and then,

what i have to do now is get all the romantic comeback success stories out of my head and stay focused.....cos when i am out an that 4 hour training ride and it starts to rain as i blow up, the only thing that will see me through will have to come from me, that will be the foundation of good race performances later in the year, as long as i can keep sight of the main goal i will stay motivated.....i dont need any good luck......i just cant afford any bad luck, i will check in the night before the op just to update on where my head is, then i might need a day or two before i stick the first pics up !  in the meantime i am off to work tonight....under a bit of a cloud really as news today is of two more firefighters dying in a fire in southampton......feels like some good needs to come of this, it just might be time to start putting more emphasis on the training that will help to save our lives rather than the target driven world of community fire safety....its still a really important part of what we do but perhaps we need a re think on what the public really want from us, focus on being amazing at that and then push the prevention message, just a thought....i am just sorry that we have lost two more people. well, i will speak to you all tomorrow....the journey has started.

in fact this was my last ride in jan, to be fair it was awsome....

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the results are in and.....

I think the last post here was me waiting to hear back on my MRI results.....well they tell me that i have a tear in the medial posterior meniscus, surgery is the remedy....what a shit. after much chasing around with various surgical options i have managed to get an appointment for the op on april 9th, gotta gp NHS cos i cant afford 2.5 k to go private......could get it done tomorrow by the same guy if i had the dosh !  go figure. So a rethink has ensued, charge are being typically great and nick has said just get fixed and race when ya can, here is the script i have written for my recovery.....operation april 9th, rest and recover, reduce calorie intake, get anisthetic out of system, start turbo training gently when stitches are out, build for two more weeks, start road training after 4 weeks, build towards being part of team for set 2 rise by end of may using gym, swimming and riding, spend summer adressing any muscle imabalance issues after op and increasing milage, try and be fully competitive by national marathon champs in september, race through winter in cross events  find a big stage race/adventure to complete next season. sound pretty straightforward to me......lets see how it pans out !  in the meantime new stuff is filtering through to me, i have just got my new lights from night rider, they look amazing, cant wait to play on the software and see how i can tune em up......or shall i say i cant wait to lean over my wifes shoulder while she works out how to change the software and i just say what i want from my lights !  computers are not my strong point. i also have unpacked all my dhb stuff now......i should be riding just as the weather warms up which means i might have to wait some time to experience the how good the new windproof training jackets are....my most used winter item !   although this is england and the " summer " is sometimes not as warm as it might be !  so it may still get an airing. i am still faffing on the whole tubless or not debate, i do really like being able to choose my tyres according to the course and weather and having tubeless seems to make this more of a ball acher, and i have had a ride where my tubless tyre decided to just go really soft for no real reason....which means i sort of dont fully trust them yet....at least i have the option, i will see how that goes. so at the moment all i am doing is trying the odd turbo session when my knee permits it and going to the gym to use the swimming pool......followed by sauna and coffee, the biggest injury is mental though, not being able to train or do half the things i enjoy has really affected my morale and confidence, it seems that the removal of my main outlet....cycling, has taken away some of my ability to be rational, maybe this is what its like to stop smoking or something else addictive...so the bigger struggle might be if i can mentally get motivated again, i do give a lot of hours to training so i can ride well....but starting again from such a long lay off will be a real effort, when you start to ride well you gain a momentum and training feels easier so motivation stays high which in turn makes training easier and so on goes the cycle...this usually coincides with the summer for most of us becuse we dont ride so much through the winter, but i will be starting summer in poor condition, i will suffer in nicer weather though as i get fitter......the downside is people will see me out riding and think " oh the tour de france must be on the telly box, it brings out all the part time racers" as they see my sweaty red face labouring up the climbs !   aaaanywaayy   it could be worse, it does not affect my work and the op will fix me, now back to my haynes manual.......my bloody motorbike has a hole in the radiator, i have found a used one on ebay and with my complete faith in mr haynes i will rebuild it........but bournemouth kawasaki do have a slot saved for next week just incase !    not that i am planning to fail.......but i have not failed to plan  !

false start.....

Well my training has ground to a halt pretty much before it has got properly going, I had a bit of knee pain early in Jan so went to the doc, he sent me off for an MRI to see what was going on in there....he is good like that, he would rather know than guess....he says its cheaper for the NHS in the long run, and i aint gonna argue ! so I rested the knee for 11 days....ice, ibuprofen etc... and started back on the turbo trainer steady as she goes, over the next few days i built up easy and worked in some rest days, i managed to build back up to a 2 hr road ride and all of a sudden its flared up again, I am currently resting.....again and waiting for the MRI results . I am not very good at being injured, firstly i get pissed off, i see the whole thing as a waste of time and want it to get better tomorrow, I then go into a bit of a denial phase where i just try and ignore it and ride anyway, this of course makes it worse and prolongs the healing time....i think i do this because i lose my bottle cos i am off the bike too long, I then get fed up with sport in general and think about taking up something else that does not revolve around countless hours of training and social sacrifices....like too much beer, i justify this by thinking i have been racing for more than 20 years and i have had a good innings, I am currently in the mild acceptance phase...i have just returned from swim training cos i can do that without hurting my knee....its more for my sanity i think !  next will hopefully come the healing process followed by the paranoid gentle return to training, hopefully concluded by the   " that wasnt so bad i think i'll do 4 hrs tomorrow " phase where you forget it ever happened, fingers crossed. the injury has been made to feel worse because new kit has started to arrive and i am desperate to get out and try my new dhb winter kit and bontrager tyres....i am still trying to slim down on the number of tyres required for racing xc.. i just want dry fast, wet/ all conditions and mud i think we may now have that facility with bonty on board, but I cant ride.. so the new goal is to be pain free riding by the muc off 8 hr in april, be proper fit for the set 2 rise and the marmotte in the alps then zinging for september....we will see how that pans out, if not then a KTM exc 400 and entering some enduro's might be in order....perhaps i am still in the i hate this sport phase after all !   

tracks and sore knees

britain grinds to a halt in the snow.....better get the mountain bike out then, i am trying to carry on the momentum from my recent race at the brass monkey enduro, so with this in mind i sacked the slightly knackered turbo trainer and got out on the frozen solid tracks around here, best decision ever....it was like riding in summer with no dust ! well ,and some ice and tons of kit, and my bottle froze, and iced up puddles....ok so not like summer..but better than a turbo trainer, a couple of days later and i opened the curtains on inches of snow.....gotta get the mountain bike out again i thought, i rode a 2 hour loop on all the small lanes, all big chainring, apart from one climb....too much snow !  i saw no tarmac at all and only 2 cars...going slower than me !   it was rad, only downer is i have a sore knee now, i have rested it for 10 days and turbo trained today.....i went steady but it seems to be a bit better so gently does it i think this month....although the forecast would suggest a lot of turbo training on the horizon !  thoughts are turning to the new season, might try and do some road races this year on the new skewer, i have entered the marmotte down in the alps for july, managed to get the time off work !  its even crossed my mind to try a national points race as a master in xc !  ...trouble is they are bloody fast and i wont be gridded...they are also about two hours too short for me as well !  gonna try and get the time off for the muc off 8 hour in april, and i think i might partner up with charge's new guy for the set 2 rise 12 hour....he does'nt know it yet though !  although the thought of three solo wins in a row is tempting !  the thing is there are no easy wins in an event lasting 12 hours ! so it will be a tough commitment....not to mention the other riders, i am still trying to find a big challenge for this or next season too, all these stage races seem to be done as a pair...any takers, you will need strong legs, stronger head, twisted humour and dosh, bring your own nappy cream....and you will have to apply it yourself !  think about it  .    

happy new year...

happy 2010 all you hard chargers, let me guess...the diet starts today, you have joined the local gym, ya need some new jeans cos the ones you have now have shrunk somehow  ! actually my jeans are a bit tight ! but i too have begun training ....well i did yesterday but its really cold today. I have been just ticking over on the bike for the last couple of months, just enough training to keep the major pounds off, i have not ridden off road for ages though as i hate all the cleaning up afterwards !  so i thought i would enter a race instead.....the brass monkeys 4 hr enduro over near aldershot, good sandy ground so i thought it would be good whatever the weather, and good it was, bloody cold but a nice quick course although it did get a lot slower as the race went on cos as the track thawed out it got muddier and muddier , its was a typical fast start...for which i spent the next lap paying for, but as we all settled down i was comfy (relative) in sixth, for the next three hours i just rode at one speed and people just blew up or had bike trouble or got just plain frozen cold, and by the end i had dieseled my way round to second place ! totally suprised as i really have done very little training but pretty pleased with that, i have done something to my achilles in the process but i will try and rest it and look after it so i can start training harder as the month goes on, if you were there then well done for dealing with the cold and the inevitable chain suck , i know the first race in the series was pouring with rain....this one was freezing cold, what will round three have in store ? i do have one little gripe about the race though......people using bloody mp3 players !   it makes it near impossible to pass lapped riders in the single track cos they just cant hear us coming ! personally i try to always be polite when overtaking, and if i am behind someone who is clearly struggling with the technicality of the course i tell them not to worry about me as i will pop past when i can and it is safe for us both....but i cant communicate when they have a pod in their ears ! i know they are a great wat to hide the pain and monotony of a long race, but that mp3 may directly affect the results if one person can get past and the other riders are held up for a bit......rant over, after the race i hosed the bike down and promptly forgot to dry and oil my chain.....3 days later its orange and solid ! i know i am not the only person who does this, trouble is when you look at what a chain and casette costs these days......as well as brake pads, i have concluded mtn bike racing is becoming expensive if you are not sponsored....i have been reading trail bike mag this month and ya know what......mountain biking has caught up with the cost of enduro motorbike racing......energy drinks are as expensive as fuel...brake pads the same...tyres the same even bikes the same now.....when i started racing my bike was three hundred quid....i dont reckon there is much around that will stand a season of racing for that price now, i can see clunker racing making a comeback....cheap bikes , no support just good racing....along those line i have also though about a proper solo category in 12 and 24 hr races......no pit crews just the rider with one bike, gotta do your own food, drink and lights and if its not in the pits you cant have it, other riders can help each other but no outside assistance.....is it a backward step or the true spirit of what a mountain bike is, mine was all about freedom when i first started riding, it was a vehicle that was used for everything...training, touring, going to school, dragging firewood along to our november 5th bonfires, i used to ride in the sea, along the sand on the beach and even to my first job interview....my bike got so hammered but i loved it, unsupported solo racing would definately level the playing field a little.....but racing would be a lot harder !  anyway i am gonna spend the rest of the day looking for some races to do over the next few months.....gonna try racing more and training less to see if i can keep my condition good, it means i might have to go steadier in some races but at least i will be riding with other people and keeping my skills up....ya never know i might even get the odd win ! well i am off to sort me bike out and get more wood on the fire....the dogs grumbling....bless .

DIY time........

has it really been that long since i last wrote?  well lets catch up, for starters my season pretty much finished in august, a bit early really....i had a road race planned but as i had to have some jabs for work a few days before, the race got scrubbed from my plans, i was told the jabs would make me feel a bit tired for a day or two.......try rough as a dog for a week and you would be closer to the truth, so the road race went out the window.......along with all my enthusiasm, and so ensued a lot of eating junk with no exercise since then, not helped by work being all over the place, i have been on course after course which has thrown all routine out as i have been away from home alot, only now am i starting to re discover physical activity......mind you sying that, i am doing sod all today as i have been stuck doing diy stuff, this is a constant threat during the season but only properly rears its ugly head in the off season! training slackens off so it appears that i have more time on my hand so a "project " then ensues, i cannot tell you how much i detest middle englands love of diy.....if this is what i have to look forward to as i grow older.....i went to get some more paint at b&q as in true diy fashion i was about to run out with about 2sqm left to paint, the rage began as i sat waiting to get into the car park.....i had to queue to get into somewhere i did not want to be ! as i walked through the doors and into the sterile artificial lighted tomb that is the store i was imediately surrounded by the sound of crap piped music, no doubt picked by some sort of retail phsycologist to increase good feeling and make us buy more stuff, we can see throught it you know !    well i say that,  but i did stand there thinking about how useful a self sealing paint brush washing device would be........in fact ill just wash em in the sink like i have always done, so i moved on and found my paint, a brush (to replace my broken one....dont ask) and a new paint tray....again dont ask, all in about three minutes, after clearing the  "do you want a priviledge card" gauntlet of screaming children covered check out area i left the building, fought my way past the charity muggers and join the rac here stands to find some cock had left their trolley agaisnt my car, i got back home feeling uneasy, and as i finished my 4th coat  on the new plaster ceiling i realised......i am clinging onto riding as my last form of sanity to keep me away from the mundainity of every day life, i suffer this every year, and i just scrape through the winter with enough enthusiasm to train again, one day this might not happen ,and as i sit here in the off season lull, i wonder if this might be the year that i do finally chuck it in, i should be racing for the love of it, not just because i cant think of anything else to do....i have felt like this for the about the last 4 or 5 winters and somehow i carry on with all the training i need to do to be at the sharp end of the races i choose, maybe i do suffer from SAD, perhaps the key to make it through this winter will be to find a training group, most ....nearly all of my training is done alone you see, i feel it makes my mind strong enough to cope with the long events, but in the depths of winter maybe i should allow some human contact, this is gonna turn into a lonely hearts ad in a minute ! i recently thought about doing the soggy bottom series to keep my pecker up.....so to speak, but wouldnt ya know it....i am on duty for all of em, i may get some good time to train but its no good if i am working on all the race weekends, god i am gonna stop writing now.....this is deppressing me, i need another adventure, must get searching, but i will need to check in with gordon brown first as we cant get time off in the fire service at the mo cos we are short of bums on seats......and to save money i think they aim to keep it that way !  let it go sam..........some good stuff though.....i went to a half ironman event in the new forest recently...as support crew for my wife, it was a bit of an eye opener to watch someone else go through the pre race nerves, to watch them worry about the strange items that really dont matter on race day, to panic about what kit to use and how to lay out a transition area, to carry out tasks five times to be totally sure that everything is in place.....i could see all the things i do and it made me aware that people can lose a lot of energy and strength before an event by worrying without any real cause....i learnt alot from this and will try to remember when its my turn to prepare, in the race she was amazing, she has done the minimum amount of training because she does all the real life stuff i hate doing as well as working full time, so to see her come out of the swim still smiling was fantastic, she rode really strong and dealt with all the pain and self doubt during the half marathon at the end when its just so easy to think i will just rest and walk for a bit, she wanted to beat six and a half hours.....she finshed in six hours thirty mins and twelve seconds ! so close ! i was so in awe of her at that point, she had seen the job through and finished because she wanted too and that was the victory, another lesson leaned for me there......i only consider that i have had a good race if i finish high up in the results, the experience of the event just passes me by and that seems a tragedy, maybe its a pressure that i put on myself for being sponsored, whatever it is that is driving me on, its making me miss any emotional engagement in the actual event, there are people out there training just as hard in all the same weather as me, they are loving what they do, when i think of them i feel like a bit of a fraud.....like i am in it just to finish near the front and if i cant then it feels like a bad day, its not possible to finish near the front without all of the other competitors making the effort to get out there and have a go, i just want them to know that they probably go home having had a better and more fun time than i have........indeed watching my wife race has taught me a lot this year, she is my new heroine......not that i consume a lot of old heroine you understand, so i need one of my goals to be to re discover the enjoyment that got me into racing in the first place, and for once i dont have a clue where to start !  i will talk to dani.....she always knows.......or so she keeps telling me !

end of season blues.......already

allo all, i am writing to you from my sick bed, i am obviously dying......but my wife wont listen, cant tell if i have caught a bug or if i am suffering after having my Hep A jab the other day, all i know is i am aching, sweating and totally knackered, i am supposed to be winding down towards a road race next weekend but to be honest i have wound down to a complete stop at the moment ! the thought of even getting on a bike fills me with sweats, back to work in the morning if all is well......then see how i go through the week, i dont really want the first thing i do on my bike to be a 75mile elite road race ! but as its down in the west country i might treat us to an ice cream afterwards, it'll be a grand day out i tell thee. i am already thinking about next years challenges, i cant help but be drawn to trying my hand at an ironman event, trouble is i will put on weight in the form of arms and shoulders that i just dont need for bike racing, in the past i have found that the extra muscle also requires extra calories to run it.....this compromises my efficiency in the longer endurance events.....ya know 12hrs and stuff, so its a bit of a one way ticket for a while.....i will talk with nick as no doubt he will have found some sick endurance challenge that he thinks will be   "fun"  for me to do, so over the next few months i will be cross training a bit, i find it helps motivation to do a bit of running and swimming....not too much mind, then i might try the odd winter mtb race or two before deciding if i should spread some charge love to the world of triathlon......i can see it now.....paisley one peice tri suit with brouge effect bontrager tri shoes, might even try some swimming monicles, also my mind is starting to wander a bit more, i have been racing all told for about twenty years now, i am getting a nagging feeling of been there done that at the moment, i find myself thinking of the race across america or trying a north to south ride across the aussie desert.....something a bit more of a challenge on a personal level rather than just trying to beat the same old faces....no offence to those old faces.....they will understand what i mean. Nick and i have started talking about equipment for the bikes and team stuff in general for next season, although to be honest it will be hard to improve on what we have now.....my bike is still sweet running but i will continue my personal quest for the best xc race tyre ever.....i just want the impossible i think, but i will keep trying. work is a constant challenge at the moment, the fire service is trying to roll out personal development reviews, talk about lead ballons ! but as with all new systems.....teething troubles are inevitable.....as well as resistance to change...so between fire calls i am also an agony aunt, as a consequence i seem to get home mentally knackered at the mo, i think i need some steady old pub stop rides with some like minded folk to get back on track, competition feels a bit old at the moment.....gonna surf through october, good waves and a warm ish sea make it a good time of the year.....but by the time i feel racey again i will be dog unfit, in fact as i read this i just think to myself ....i am just mentally burned out.......have a break seems to be the words that keep echoing in my ears.....sometimes i feel as though i just dont have the bottle to rest.....seems weird i know but its because of how long it takes to get back in good shape after a good rest that i sometimes go over the top and end up where i am know.......slumped and used like an old nappy in the corner of the bin.....although i think i smell marginally better.